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Credo quia absurdum.

Translated, somewhat loosely I believe, as 'I believe in it because it is absurd'

I start college again on wednesday, for my second year. I don't know how to feel about it, if I'm perfectly honest. The sumer holidays have flown by, even though I have done little else than watch lots of films (Or, rather, the same films lots of times) The current popular choice is the newly released Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, but of course The Young Victoria and one of the 3 DVD's in my Horrible Histories box set are still played regularly. A lot of the films I watch are because of Emily Blunt. I want to be her...that is all. Its bizzare, knowing that you're in the second year of college, with, what? 11? 12? years of education behind you. Given some of my AS results, this year is all about studying, which I will admit there wasn't much of in the first year. I'm enrolled for A2 Performing Arts and Geology (Given the fact I got a U in Physics) and I have picked up AS History, something I should have done from the start. I'm rather determined to get good grades in the next year, and I'm not exactly sure of which road to go down in the future. But I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But if I'm perfectly honest, I still want to be an actress and performer, I can't see myself doing anything else. I love science, and history, don't get me wrong, but surely the thing I want to do most is the thing that makes me the most happy. If thats the case, I really can't do anything else. Its odd, I keep changing my mind, I keep having all these regrets about my early youth, about how I didn't take up ballet, or gymnastics etc. Most people ask my why I didn't do that too, well, the truth is I wasn't interested in that stuff when I was younger, I spent most of my time with my dad, going to museums and looking round abandoned war defences, like pillboxes etc. And when I went on holiday anywhere, It had to be near a museum or a castle, but it was the best fun ever. I guess I just took a little longer to adopt a more stereotypical female way of life. Now I've reached 17, I wish I did dance, and do all those things from a young age. So if you're ever wondering why I didn't do those things, thats why, I wasn't interested when I was younger, but now I am, and I'm stuck, cause I don't know how to get there. I keep telling myself I should adopt some phrases and try to live by them, and heres a few I've chosen;

1. If you never try, you'll never know.
2. Credo quia absurdum.
3. I don't know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.
4. Without faith there is no hope, without hope there is no love.

Thats why I called this blog what I did. I realised that most things must have sounded absurd at some point, like to the Victorians, the idea of space travel or putting a man on the moon would've probably sounded bizzare, or the idea of building massive pyramids of stone must've sounded absurd. So I decided that great things must've come from absurdity...I know, deep right? Its just something I had to say, if only for the benefit of me.

In other news;

I have another driving lesson tomorrow, and I'm already nervous about it. I always am. Its something about the fear of getting told of (Yes, still don't like being told off at 17) If I do something wrong. I keep stalling, which I guess is perfectly normal when you're learning to drive. My instructor makes me nervous, but I'm sure thats not her, I would be nervous regaurdless of who's teaching me to drive! I don't like being watched when I do something, and with driving, thats pretty much what happens constantly. Sometimes, I would just love to not be nervous about anything, I'm sure it would make everything so much more simple. Anyway, writing things like this helps with the nerves, its like someone I can talk to without the fear of being judged.

So, thats the only real news I can think of, I suppose I'll just get back to watching Salmon Fishing, its a good film, if you ever get the chance, I know what you're all thinking, how can a film about salmon fishing be any good, but its a really good British comedy film, and a good old British romantic film at that.

Ooo! Speaking of British things! I can't post this without mentioning the Olympic games. How much did it make you proud to be british?! Not only did we put on one hell of a show for both the opening and closing ceremonies (You know me, one mention of the Victorian era or the Industrial revolution and I'm there!) but all of Team GB did the entire nation proud! Oh, and 3 words, Tom. Daley. Speedos. I feel thats all I need to say on that matter ;) The Paralympics are on at the moment and are equally amazing and all of Paralympics GB are incredible!

I think that'll do, the panic about tomorrow and wednesday is already rising again. I might just go get a chewy rescue remedy sweet. Yep, they make those now.

I believe because it is absurd.

El x

I will leave you with this bit of mush from SFITY :) ENJOY!



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